Do You Have Anything with a Pearl Handle?

Back in 2007, the Manly Fireplug was awarded Irish citizenship, and I joked that he was now much more valuable to me. For if things went to utter shit here, we could escape to the EU, get married in Spain, and live the expat life – Gertrude and Alice with better footwear.

Ah, 2007, before we had a Muslim president, before our African-American congressmen got anonymous faxes featuring pictures of nooses, back when we thought the Patriot Act was scary. Before we’d even heard of Michele Bachmann. But then we were so young.

Am I the only fag these days thinking of buying a gun?

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Posted March 24th, 2010 in daily.

9 comments:

  1. Manly Fireplug:

    Nope! I think all smart fags might come to the same conclusion. Time to arm ourselves in self-defense.

    p.s. I bet Gertrude and Alice had butcher boots than us

    March 25th, 2010 at 12:16 am
  2. Michael Mullen:

    Speaking of paranoia, am I the only one thinking, “Well, if they’re finally considering getting rid of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’, does this mean they’re getting ready to reinstate the draft?”

    March 25th, 2010 at 12:23 am
  3. Michael Mullen:

    PS, Gertrude and Alice drove ambulances during World War I, so you KNOW they had the boots.

    March 25th, 2010 at 12:24 am
  4. dogpoet:

    I think they had better mustaches, too.

    March 25th, 2010 at 12:25 am
  5. Manly Fireplug:

    Probably we got them beat on the muscles.

    Please? Maybe?

    March 25th, 2010 at 12:29 am
  6. John:

    You’re not the only one, though for me it was more about demystifying an object that I found a little intimidating: guns are scary, conquer it by mastering them. The only time I felt like I might want one for self-defense was after Hurricane Ike, when I lay in bed in my darkened neighborhood and realized that there were no lights, no working phone, and if anything should happen, I was totally on my own, even in the middle of one of the largest cities in America. Very strange feeling.

    March 25th, 2010 at 3:34 am
  7. Boomer:

    Owning a gun? Probably not…one crabby day the the partner of many years may just get hurt over a dry boneless, skinless chicken breast (I kid!) Seriously I never thought I would want to be around guns but a number of years ago a friend dragged me to the firing range and I found I LOVE to shoot stuff…at a range. Have one around the house? Way too scary and also would be an admission that the world is a much scarier place that I want it to be…and I am not there yet. (Moving that direction though)

    Also, I don’t know you and haven’t seen you so I can’t speak to muscles…but you’re both WAY cuter than Alice and Gertrude.

    March 25th, 2010 at 6:44 am
  8. Jeffrey:

    As long as it goes with my shoes and belt. I’ve often thought I don’t want the crazy people to be the only ones with firepower.

    Still, what I really want is a phaser: Don’t just shoot them–vaporize them.

    March 25th, 2010 at 7:48 am
  9. Nick:

    Well, this faggot isn’t thinking of buying a gun because he bought one about 8 years ago. Smith & Wesson semiautomatic 9mm pistol. Yeah, this flaming faggot is packing some heat. Haven’t had need to use it, but there’s always a bullet in the chamber.

    March 27th, 2010 at 8:06 pm

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