Dumped for Dore. Or Not.
“I think we need to take a break,” the Manly Fireplug told me. “I think we need to see other people. But only for Dore Alley.”
Fortunately this was not real-life Fireplug talking, but merely the Fireplug in last week’s nightmare. I used to be, in the beginning of our courtship, nearly four years ago, a jealous wreck of a man. But I thought those days were long gone. I felt secure in our whatever-you-want-to-label-it-ness. I no longer wasted time worrying if he would leave me, in part because he pretty much dotes on me all the time now.
Oh believe me, he tried in the beginning to resist my charms. But really, what chance did he have, once I’d made up my mind?
But apparently my subconscious is still an anxious amusement park filled with scary clowns and seductive porn stars. Because yes, in my nightmare I caught a glimpse of the Fireplug, hand-in-hand with some humpy little thing much closer in height to himself, traipsing through Dore Alley: a bullet shot straight through my heart.
Maybe you’ve never had nightmares that your boyfriend will leave you during a street fair devoted to half-naked kinky men from all over the planet. I suppose this might be a San Francisco-centric nightmare. But any of us in any half-way sizable city can easily drive ourselves nuts fearing that the humpy number just around the next corner will woo our loved ones away. Curse those next corners, they’re always holding back some temptation.
In real life I forestalled such tragedy by signing us both up for the beer booth at Dore Alley, where will we be slinging suds half the afternoon, side-by-side, getting the kinky fucks drunker and raking in the cash for my Gay World Series-bound softball team. Just like we did last month at Pride, pictured here (with our handsome, totally-single friend Lon: call him!), in a moment of tender capitalist camaraderie. What you don’t see is the leash around the Fireplug’s waist.
If you’d like us to get you closer to intoxication this Sunday, or if you want like a Diet Coke or something, come to our booth outside the Powerhouse between 3-6 pm, right about the time the crowd turns a tad messy. My team could use the cash.
The family that plays together, stays together. I’d look like a beached whale with fur, but I’d love to go to Dore Alley, just once.
July 22nd, 2010 at 3:28 pmhave fun mike! and make a lot of tips.
July 23rd, 2010 at 12:53 pmi’m so centered on “me”, i had the nerve to believe that i was the only one who feels this way……….LOL
July 24th, 2010 at 4:50 pmOk, I’ll call Lon. #?
July 26th, 2010 at 9:51 pmincoming… message from the North….
August 1st, 2010 at 9:29 pmThe picture of you two just tickles me pink. Love it. Love that you are my cousin and that you have Joe.