Where You’re Broken
When I was a grad student at Columbia I attended a reading/Q&A with Philip Gourevitch, a writer who had begun as a journalist, found acclaim with his book on the Rwandan genoicde, and had recently been appointed editor of the Paris Review. Most of his words that day are lost to me now, except for this: at some point in his career he’d lost interest in interviewing politicians because, he said, “They just lie. All of them.”
We all figure that out at some point, but there was something about the way he said it that day that stuck with me. Interviewing the dishonest, he said, “Was tiring and – frankly – dull.” It’s much more interesting to hear someone at least try to tell the unvarnished truth.
Politicians lie because they must try to be all things to all people (and, let’s face it, all corporations). Who the hell knows what Obama really thinks about gays? I found his wife, who clearly had mixed feelings about the political spotlight, much more fascinating. She was a little too smart. A little too private. After the election, of course, she had to soften her edges.
At some point all politicians become dull. Who can connect with a liar? Contemporary heroes stay heroic for about thirty seconds. When their flaws are revealed, the world turns on them. But we need each other’s flaws.
The DJ and musician Rich Morel recently commented on his blog about the Killers’ song “Mr. Brightside”:
Brandon Flower’s vocal has an incredibly vulnerable quality to it. That is what makes him and the band so great. It’s always the fragile aspects that make me connect with people.
Strength is a glass shield; my interest slides off those who wave their “strength” around for everyone’s supposed benefit. Which is why I loved Amy Winehouse. In every break-up song she had a part, and she copped to it.
Tell me the truth, regardless of how it makes you look. Tell me where you’ve been broken. When someone gives me that, I feel less alone.
Just, WOW
September 23rd, 2011 at 2:54 pmMichael,
The truth: your readers feel less alone after reading your blog; you have many kindred spirits out “there/here.” You are not broken:perfect as you are. Be kind to yourself.
Congratulations on your wedding. Enjoy each other.
Keep writing.
John
September 23rd, 2011 at 4:11 pmThanks John. In this case I don’t mean broken as a pejorative. We’re all flawed, we all make mistakes, and I find those fascinating.
Thanks for the congrats; I’m a lucky man!
September 23rd, 2011 at 5:04 pmExcellent post thank you. i was just having this same discussion with a friend over coffee. I had a mini breakdown during our chat and i was embarrassed and felt stupid, my friend gave me the longest hug, looked me in the face and said to me ” i like when you let your sensitive side out, your always such a cold bitch”. We laughed.
I read Mr. Gourevitch’s book on the Rwandan Genocide as well and then i saw him on a doco interviewing the head of the UN peacekeeping mission at the time, a Canadian general and he really drew him out of his shell. The general admitting his failure, the failure of the UN and specifically the whole damm world. Very intense.
September 27th, 2011 at 8:58 amI met the Bishop on the road
And much said he and I.
‘Those breasts are flat and fallen now,
Those veins must soon be dry;
Live in a heavenly mansion,
Not in some foul sty.’
‘Fair and foul are near of kin,
And fair needs foul,’ I cried.
‘My friends are gone, but that’s a truth
Nor grave nor bed denied,
Learned in bodily lowliness
And in the heart’s pride.
‘A woman can be proud and stiff
September 29th, 2011 at 5:33 amWhen on love intent;
But Love has pitched his mansion in
The place of excrement;
For nothing can be sole or whole
That has not been rent.’ – Wm. Butler Yeats, ‘ Crazy Jane talks with the Bishop’
I’ve sure found, especially in coming out, that the truth really is the thing that sets us free. And it’s not a moment but a journey. Thanks for such excellent words.
November 18th, 2011 at 9:50 am