My Boyfriend the Saint
On Easter, the Manly Fireplug was sainted by The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. He is now Saint Weenie Todd, the Semen Barber of 19th Street. They gave him a certificate, made him kneel on a stage in front of a few hundred people in Dolores Park, and then dumped a jar of glitter on him. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never dated, or even blown, a saint before, but there’s a first for everything. Perhaps with enough exertion, a certain amount of irreverent holiness will rub off on me, along with the glitter. I’m not sure what it says about me that I’m on a first-name basis with the green rabit pictured above, or that I happen to know she tours the world teaching bondage techniques. Only that San Francisco has completely ruined me for anywhere else.
Later there was the Hunky Jesus contest.
These are just a fraction of the contestants; we got bored and left before they picked the winner. But look, the dude brought his own wood.
A long-lost cousin of mine, whom I had never met, was in town visiting me that weekend. She lives in a small town in Oregon, so naturally we dragged her to the spectacle. Later, she commented on the group of burly men who watched the show nearby, swilling MGD’s and scratching their tummies.
“Who were all those men?” she asked.
“Those would be bears,” I replied.
“Bears?”
I gave her a quick run-down on our subspecies.
“Well,” she said, “they looked just like the loggers back home.”
“Oh my God,” I said. “They would wet their pants to hear that.”
Writing this, I’m aware of how often I mention the Fireplug here. I’ve thought about fighting the trend, I mean, love can be so annoying to read about. But I surrender. I am totally, joyfully, terrifyingly in love. I am beyond all hope, and it feels kinda cool.
I really enjoy your writings, and don’t apologize for mentioning the Manly Fireplug. You love him; you want to mention him. Why hold back? Good for you that you found each other.
April 27th, 2007 at 8:40 amLove is a wondeful thing to read about…there is not enough of it in this world.
April 27th, 2007 at 9:47 am::slap::
(Cher voice) Snap out of it! (/Cher voice)
I kid, of course! Of course I kid.
April 27th, 2007 at 4:13 pm“They would wet their pants to hear that.”
Ummm, you mean the bears or the loggers? Or does it make a difference?
Congrats to the MF on the occasion of his sainting.
As to “I’ve never dated, or even blown, a saint before”,
you certainly have opportunity to fill in the gaps in your experience in that regard!
I absolutely love to hear someone raving about the object of their manly affection.
April 28th, 2007 at 7:03 pmI’ve taken classes from the green rabbit.
April 30th, 2007 at 5:53 amthe lady on the left with the daisy dukes is cracking me up.
April 30th, 2007 at 11:08 amI love to hear about love, especially the way you write it!
I’ll bet his weenie ain’t todd at all! But you’ll have to give it careful and frequent examination to be sure.
And, as a saint, you can now bottle and sell his bodily fluids as relics!
I think I need a haircut.
Shalom & Cheers, Joe.
May 2nd, 2007 at 10:08 amI’ve often wished Fuad would enter the Hunky Jesus contest. He would win (if you ask me), which would be wonderful irony.
May 2nd, 2007 at 9:35 pmAnd one more thing …. Your changing mastheads — the banner — makes a visit to the blog worthwhile even if you have nothing else to share on that day.
May 6th, 2007 at 7:41 amso that’s the MF? so sweet. you and i have something in common (hee hee). twice. he’s a sweetheart and i still have a cockring he left in my NYC apartment 20 years ago. so do you go to dr. mills now too?
May 10th, 2007 at 3:36 pmIs it a nice cockring?
May 11th, 2007 at 1:57 pmBut I surrender. I am totally, joyfully, terrifyingly in love. I am beyond all hope, and it feels kinda cool.
i’m of the mind that one should never apologize for that. it’s magnificent. you are blessed and that is a good thing. it’s been 15 years with my sweet pea and still i feel blessed and “terrifyingly” in love. it is cool. go forth and enjoy.
May 11th, 2007 at 8:28 pmThat was me this morning (walking down Castro St; I said hi).
May 13th, 2007 at 3:49 pmAwwww, love. I love reading about love.
And I think I recognize that rabbit.
June 4th, 2007 at 3:35 amI love reading about your love for Joe…and his for you…
June 9th, 2007 at 5:41 pm