A Can of Red Bull and a Case of Denial

October 22nd, 2008

So here’s what happened over the last week:

  • Worked until three a.m. Saturday at one of the two bars where I now sling drinks. Had to turn around and come back eleven hours later to work happy hour
  • Saturday morning felt a sharp pain in my chest followed by some weird breathing patterns
  • Decided that the above was due to drinking a Red Bull on top of two cups of coffee, and went to work
  • Worked one hell of a slow shift. Every time I bent over to get a beer out of the cooler, I’d cough
  • Worked until nine pm when the Manly Fireplug came by and took me down the street for Indian Food, where he noticed me acting even stranger than usual
  • Walked back to my car after dinner and realized that I couldn’t catch my breath
  • Long story a bit shorter: the Fireplug drove me to the ER
  • A couple of hours later, following some blood tests, an EKG, and a chest x-ray, they diagnose me with a spontaneous pneumothorax. In other words, my right lung had collapsed that morning, from no discernible cause
  • Given a drug that rendered me loopy, but not loopy enough to forget the part where they stuck a tube through my chest and suctioned out the air around my lung, nor could the Fireplug escape the noises I made even though he left the room
  • Sent home with a valve sticking out of my chest. Various old tire jokes ensue.
  • Come back on Monday to get the valve removed, only to discover, via x-ray, that my lung had collapsed again
  • Given a stronger drug so as to forget the part where they remove the first valve and stick in a different kind of valve, through a new hole in my chest
  • Admitted to the hospital for observation, where I’ve remained, since my lung continues to collapse when left to its own devices. We’re hoping it heals up by Friday and I can go home.
  • Reduced by pain meds to writing nothing but bullet-point lists
  • Surrounded by bags of cashews, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and Brownie Bites
  • Tethered to a machine that sounds like my own personal aquarium
  • Woke up this morning trying to remember if the sight of the Manly Fireplug getting down on one knee and proposing to me in the hospital room last night was real or a drug-induced hallucination
  • Realized that, either way, I’m glad I said “yes”
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Filed under: daily, fireplug, gay marriage, lung | 16 Comments »

16 Comments on “A Can of Red Bull and a Case of Denial”

  1. 1: Joy said at 5:30 pm on October 22nd, 2008:

    Michael,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you for a speedy recovery. I really hope he asked and it wasn’t a hallucination.

    joyous :o )

  2. 2: jennie said at 5:43 pm on October 22nd, 2008:

    oh baby boy. he better have asked, haha.
    seriously, i’m glad you’re okay.

  3. 3: Helene said at 5:54 pm on October 22nd, 2008:

    Transition from “waving hands around in fit of concern and squickness re. lung valves” to “waving hands around in girly melodramatic excitement” = pretty damn fast. Please get better soon, and give the MF a hug for me.

  4. 4: Brian said at 8:48 pm on October 22nd, 2008:

    Egads Michael! Here’s wishing you a speedy recovery and that you are home soon. You are on the right track. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups have excellent medicinal qualities.

    And congratulations to you both.

  5. 5: Karin said at 2:05 pm on October 23rd, 2008:

    Oh, wow! What dramatic ups and downs I experienced while reading this. I’m glad you’ve got wind in your pipes again. And — how wonderful!

    Your longtime reader.

  6. 6: Jay said at 4:13 pm on October 23rd, 2008:

    Seems like an awful lot of drama to go through to get him to propose, but I’m thrilled it worked! My partner and I got married in your wonderful city last month.

    I truly hope they figure out what’s wrong with your lungs and that you’re on the mend very soon.

    - Another longtime reader, in Virginia

  7. 7: Rick said at 5:16 pm on October 23rd, 2008:

    Glad your on the up side of all that. And congratulations!!!

  8. 8: Jack in Seattle said at 7:23 am on October 24th, 2008:

    Oh man that royally sucks about your lung. I actually froze my lung when i was 16 by sucking the air out of whip cream bottles a co worker and i saved up while working at Baskin Robins in Malibu. I must have done about 6 or 7 when i collapsed. No one proposed to me at the time….

    Congrats Jack.

  9. 9: Scott said at 9:01 am on October 24th, 2008:

    Hope you’re feeling better, and um congrats!!!!!!!!!!

  10. 10: Mike said at 3:30 pm on October 24th, 2008:

    Dam, hope you get better and get back home soon! Sending positive healing thoughts your way.
    Take care

  11. 11: John said at 9:54 am on October 25th, 2008:

    Wow. Scary stuff. I hope you continue to do better and they resolve all issues.

    Peace.

  12. 12: Jeffrey said at 6:33 am on October 26th, 2008:

    Oh honey, you’ve really got to knock it off with these desperate pleas for attention.

    Kidding! Of course I’m kidding. Here’s hoping for a speedy recovery and that it wasn’t just a dream and you don’t wake up tomorrow morning and go to the bathroom to discover Bobby Ewing in your shower. (Although, now that I think of that….)

  13. 13: ted said at 9:07 am on October 29th, 2008:

    The experience of reading that post was a bit gut-wrenching. Back and forth. Back and forth. And forth!

    Congratulations!!! That’s so wonderful

    And please post again ASAP so we know how you’re doing.

  14. 14: Hotrod said at 2:05 pm on October 30th, 2008:

    OMG sorry to hear about this so late, but congrats on the proposal. You’ll have very sexy burly children!!!

  15. 15: mark said at 8:09 pm on November 3rd, 2008:

    I don’t know whether to be worried or cry. So are you alright now regarding the lung? Oh and congrats on the engagement. So happy for the both of you.

  16. 16: Timothy Anderson said at 5:49 pm on November 28th, 2008:

    Wishing you a speedy recovery and the two of you a long happy life together.

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