Will The Magic Never Ever End?
January 3rd, 2009
The Manly Fireplug and I just returned from Orlando, where we had joined his family for Christmas. Or rather we returned from Disneyworld, as we did not once, in six days, step foot off Disney property into Orlando proper.
It was the kind of vacation that I would never choose for myself: the all-inclusive package vacation, separated, like a cruise ship, from the ugly and petty realities of life, in which every meal and presumably every care was to be handled by one company.
Which is not to say it was the kind of vacation I’d refuse. The Manly Fireplug’s mother paid for everything. Lodging, meals, admission to each of the five parks. I am not so elitist as to turn down such an offer, nor do I assume that my acceptance into the Fireplug clan is so easily assured, at this early date.
And buried deep (though not so deep in some) of every homosexual must be some slender longing for the Magic of Disney. As for Disney at Christmas, well, the mind reels…
Our journey began at the Orlando airport, where we checked in at the special Disney Magical Experience desk on level two, which handled our transportation, as well as the handling of our luggage, so that we could sit back, relax and enjoy the Special Disney Promotional Video on the Disney Magical Experience shuttle bus to our hotel.
We stayed at the Disney All-Stars Movie Resort, the third stop in the All-Stars compound, after the Disney All-Stars Sports, and the Disney All-Star Music resorts. The All-Stars Movie resort had three separate buildings, each designed around a separate Disney movie. Our building was the Mighty Ducks complex, with outer stairwells resembling hockey nets. To get to our room, however, we had to walk by the 101 Dalmations complex, which had a completely different design for the stairwells. I made the Manly Fireplug pose in front of one:
His family, a large, boisterous Irish Catholic clan, prefers the Up-And-At-’Em approach to life, rising at the crack of dawn so that we could be first in line for the shuttle bus, so that we could be first in line at the park, about an hour before the gates even open.
I prefer the Sleeping-In approach to life. Especially on vacation. By day five, I was a tad cranky. The Fireplug bought me a Grumpy coffee mug as consolation.
His family also has this habit of talking to strangers. Like everywhere. In line for the bus. In line for the Tower of Terror. On the monorail. I just don’t understand this tendency. The Fireplug does this all the time, so it’s not like I was shocked. And like him, they are all rather dramatic and voluble. The Fireplug says that when I talk about his family, I use a lot of “jazz hands.” You get the picture.
We caught the parade on our first visit to the Magic Kingdom, where I was struck by the number of employees Disney must have. Except that Disney calls them all “cast members.” You could grow up to be the guy who dances down the street in a Tigger costume. Or dressed up like Christopher Robin. I can think of a few boys who would push him in front of a float for such a chance.
You could also dance around as a Gingerbread Man, though the Fireplug found them a little creepy:
Or you could be the guy who cleans up after the horses:
Our first night we caught some low-key fireworks at Epcot:
As part of our Disney Vacation Package, virtually all of our meals were included in the Meal Plan, which allotted us ten Snacks, ten Quick-Service Meals, and ten Table-Service meals. Included in the latter were options for Character Dining Experiences. On our second night we ate with Cinderella:
Where Prince Charming totally insisted on posing with me and the Fireplug. Go figure.
The next morning, after waiting in line at the Magic Kingdom at some ungodly hour, the Fireplug and I split off from the group in search of breakfast. We ended up at the Crystal Palace Restaurant where, to our luck, we enjoyed another Character Dining Experience. Each table waited for Winnie the Pooh and his friends to make the rounds, some with more patience than others:
Birds of a feather. Enough said.
At this point the days kind of run together in my hazy memory. One day we ended up on the “backlot” street at Hollywood Studios:
As for shopping, there were plenty of Magic of Disney stores at every park:
Despite my occasional Disney exasperation, sometimes even I was enchanted. Especially by pretty lights:
After six days of Magic, however, and six days of holiday crowds, and six days of rising early, I’d had enough, and was homesick for San Francisco. Naturally the only nonstop flight to home left before sunrise. The Fireplug and I stayed up all night so that we could meet the Magical Experience airport shuttle at 3 a.m.
And even though, on our arrival at Disney, we were the last of the three All-Stars Resort stops, the morning of our departure we were the first. Which meant that even though we boarded the bus at 3 a.m., it was 4 a.m. before we even left Disney property. On our way to the airport, we were treated with another Disney Promotional Video, which told us all about the fabulous and enchanting experiences we could have with the Disney Cruise Line, Disney Vacation Club, and Adventures by Disney. What’s more, if we booked NOW, we could receive special discounts on our next Magical Experience.
At four a.m., however, we were just a tad sleepy, and perhaps even a tad overstimulated by All Things Disney. So we let that opportunity pass us by…
Which means that all I am left with, now, back home in San Francisco, writing this little holiday newsletter, is the small comfort of sipping tea from my new Grumpy mug.
Happy New Year.
The mind reels, indeed. Happy New Year, Dog.
Please tell Joe the Piglet picture is making my brain explode. I must pass that on to “the Chicago family.” (He’ll know what that means. Heheh.)
Now, if you ever feel crazed enough to attempt such a trip again – I highly recommend “Gay Days,” which I think is the first weekend in June. I went a few years ago, and had a blast. You’ll already have noticed that all the “cast members” are either gay themselves or completely gay-friendly, and they’re totally into the Gay Days weekend. I’m told by a friend who works for Disney that it’s their favorite weekend of the year. When the waitresses at our lunch place in the Magic Kingdom went out of their way to make sure the cutest busboys in the place had to pass our table multiple times – yeah, it brings a whole new meaning to “Disney Magic.”
(Oh, and that bus & luggage service from the airport – is that not completely awesome??)
wow. If that isn’t devotion to one’s mate, I don’t know what is… you’re a real trooper.
I used to go to an annual software conference held at Disney World. It was a bit overwhelming, from the towels folded into the Disney character origami by the maids to the Disney character voice wake up calls. As we rode the shuttle bus to the convention one morning, a coworker observed, “This is what the Soviet Union would have been like it they could have charged everybody $150/night to live there.”
Wow. I went to Disney World once shortly after it opened and have never wanted to return until now.
This post brought me to tears (of laughter, and nostalgia), remembering all of the times I went to Disneyland with my family. I’ve been trying to talk Ted into going but he refuses. Please email him (everyone) and tell him, yes, he needs to see Disneyland at least once in his life (especially since we live in San Diego!), if even for the anecdote.
His email is: ted@gideonse.com
Thank you all.
and remember:
“Disneyland will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left in the world.”
~Rob
1. I must say that Mr. Fireplug has very attractive forearms.
2. When I saw the phrase “Fireplug clan” I immediately thought there should be a remake of the movie “Braveheart” set in San Francisco. With Mr. Fireplug leading the charge there would be no escape from the unleashed clippers and straight razor. I know the good guys would win this time.
3. A partner who will buy you a Grumpy coffee mug to show that he feels your pain – Priceless. :=).
If you two can stay together through that, you’ll make it through anything. Hey, when you wish upon a star . . . . .
Blessings, shalom, and cheers for the new year. THIS will be the year.
My late grandmother and my friend Patrick (still alive) would talk with anyone, anywhere, about anything. I think it is a country-folk thing.
I haven’t been to Disneyworld since I was 8 years old. I have some buds that love going all the time. I am constantly resisting the urge. Thanks to your pics (which made me smile), I’ll have to reconsider. This was a great post!
I am forced to go to Orlando at least once a year for meetings…usually at some Disney property. The stay is usually about 3-4 days. Almost without exception by the last day, when the wake-up call tells me to Have a magical day” I wanna reply….you have a magical fucking day too!
Hmmm. Ok, I’ve gone to either Disneyland or Disneyworld 5 times in two years. Our last trip was to DLR for Christmas only a few weeks ago.
Can I TELL you how jealous I am of your trip? Staying on the resort, parkhopper tickets, PLUS meals with characters? *sigh*
I’m the opposite of probably most who will post here, but I find the parks magical and can’t wait to get back. Which by the way, we’re planning our next trip in October. We opted to go to San Francisco for Pride this year and push off Disney until later in the year.
It was a big sacrifice.
Incredibly, that pouting intensifies your hotness tenfold. No no, make that elevenfold.
This is truly more than a feeling.
dude,
this has got to be one the best post you put out in while, and i’ve reading for years. i am going to guess also it was one of the quickest write as well. i have a feeling that it was all in head ready to explode anyway.
glad you are feeling better mike and that you are up and about. you know, i can just about talk to anyone as well, but i reserve that for only certain people. i just wish you someone had taken a picture of you while they engaged in conversation with these perfect strangers. that look must of been priceless.
by the way, who watched the little guy while you guys were gone?
Ah the drama of the inlaws. You don’t know if you’ve been accepted into the “Fireplug Clan” so easily. I never know what my inlaws think of me, I try to stay away from them, after a gay dustup. Although she [my mother in law] goes out of her way every year to “do Christmas.” It’s kind of a mixed signal if you ask me.
I LOVE Disney World, I worked there when I was a wee fag, many a year ago. I think the Magic still works for adults as well as kids. Hubby has never been, and that is one thing on our list of “Things to do.”
I think Manly Fireplug is very handsome. And I think you have a gift of a man who understands you and seems to love you too. In sober terms I can offer you these pieces of advice… “What people think of me is none of my business.” And “I am powerless over people, places and things.” So there you go. Be yourself and to thine self be true. The rest comes out in the laundry.
I would kill for an all expense paid vacation to Disney. There is a Gratitude Moment for you. Someone care enough to send you to the very best place in the world to celebrate the holidays. And that, in my book, is a “really great thing.”
Keep writing.
Jeremy
the look of stark desperation on the faces of those gingerbread men will give me nightmares tonight.
Horrible nightmares.
god- the deer-in-the-headlights, please kill me now look of anguished terror freezes my blood, even as I write this.
I’ve got to admit though, as far as manic depressive asses go, Eeyore is my favorite. I had an Eeyore baseball cap once…. of all possible colors, It was pink. Who knows why.
Wow! Great photos! I love the one with Prince Charming!!
no. the magic never ends.
I couldn’t help but smile when I read they (appropriately) booked you at the Mighty Ducks resort. Duck in Spanish is pato, which is the slang term for gay in Puerto Rico, Venezuela and Panama.
Every day I aspire to be a Mighty Duck myself (in a Puerto Rican sort of way).
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