Infiltrated by Heterosexual Russian Malware Developers

My site, along with a bunch of other sites hosted by the currently-hilariously-named Dreamhost, was hacked over the past week. And I’m bringing an MFA in creative writing to the job of stripping out all of the bad code.

So, you know, this could take a while.

Hopefully by now you know I would never willingly redirect you to FemaleBodyInspector.com.

Yule Tales

An article I wrote for BARtab magazine. You can read it in its entirety on BARtab’s site.

Local Celebs’ Heavenly and Hellish Holidays
by Michael McAllister

The holiday season is upon us, bringing cold rain, pretty lights, and familial obligations. Maybe you get a little sentimental, putting on Mariah Carey’s Christmas album, or forking out $4.75 for a Venti-sized Gingerbread Latte. Whatever your preferred trigger, memories of holidays past can come rushing back to warm or haunt you.  BARtab asked some locals about their own memories of past holiday get-togethers.

Fudgie Frottage, drag king legend and the man with “the biggest balls in show business,” several years ago foolishly allowed himself to be persuaded to meet his girlfriend’s parents in Sacramento for Thanksgiving. “I was assured her mother was a fantastic cook and that it would be well worth it,” he says. “Oddly, when we arrived, the house did not have the pleasant aroma of a bird or anything at all roasting in the oven.  I inquired and was told she was cooking a turkey breast instead of a complete bird. The stuffing was generic Stove Top, out of a bag. The potatoes were boiled for hours before being mashed and drenched with liquid margarine. And there were no vegetables whatsoever, not even in the fridge! The one bottle of wine I brought did not last into the meal, which was served on paper plates! Both her Mother and sister were chain-smoking the entire time. After dinner, one of my girlfriend’s nieces, who was developmentally challenged, sat and watched the movie Forrest Gump and recited every word of the script verbatim. Two hours after dinner, her father went into the bathroom and proceeded to hurl loudly for at least 20 minutes. It sounded like he was turning inside out, and it lasted on and off, for hours, yet no one but me seemed concerned in the least – I guess the uncooked piece of turkey breast he ate is a family tradition…”

Read the rest of the article here on BARtab’s site.

Get Lit

An article I wrote about San Francisco literary events in bars, for BarTAB magazine:

You can trace the marriage of booze and books in San Francisco back to the 1950s, when Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac passed around bottles of cheap red wine during live readings at North Beach bars like The Black Cat, The Cellar, and Vesuvio.

That tradition is alive and well today. Several local series blow the cobwebs off the typical staid literary reading with raucous, unpredictable events where you can always slip away from the rare tedious author for a shot of whiskey at the bar, or a quick smoke out front.

October is by far the greatest month for local book and bar lovers. Litquake, the city’s annual literary festival, runs from October 1–9 and brings together an astonishing array of writers and fans for readings and panels in unusual locations (www.litquake.org).

(You can read the rest of the article on BarTAB’s site.)

Plugging Away

One last reminder for tonight’s reading, 7:30 pm at the Center.

Also, I recently wrote an article for the new BarTAB magazine, which covers the San Francisco nightlife scene. The article is essentially a collection of locals’ memories of their first time at a Pride march, or their first time at a gay bar. Special thanks to editor Jim Provenzano for the assignment.

Bar Tab

Virgin Territory

Notable First Pride Tales

by Michael McAllister

Another June, another Pride – another chance to reflect on how far we’ve come. We can measure our progress as a community by examining our own memories. If we’ve been out for a long time, we can forget the early obstacles we faced. BarTAB asked several locals about their first time at a Gay Pride parade, or their first time at a gay bar.

Monica Nolan, author of Bobby Blanchard, Lesbian Gym Teacher, came close to her first Pride in 1984. “I was working in an ice cream shop on North Halsted in Chicago. One night the place was suddenly packed with men. Two guys (I think wearing leather chaps but I may be embroidering my memories) said, ‘Wish us “Happy Gay Pride”.’ ‘Okay. Happy gay pride,’ I said in monotone obedience. I was, after all, only being paid $4 an hour, which wasn’t enough if the customers were going to start writing my dialogue. However, I did genuinely wish them well. In 1988 I marched in the enormous New York Pride Parade, and it seemed impossible that I could ever have been so oblivious and disinterested…”

Read the rest of the article at BarTAB’s site.

Confirmed Bachelors Click Below


Daniel Rhatigan, aka Ultrasparky, editor of Pink Mince, the journal for the “confirmed bachelor of exceptional taste,” holds up the latest issue, which features the article I wrote on the bear fashion show, along with work by or about Sina Shamsavari, Sean Welker, Greg Thorpe, Paul Baker, James Goss, João Braz, Pablo Leon Dela Barra, Terry Vietheer, Jonathan Dredge, and Mark Walton. The issue, “The Louche, Limp-wristed Lifestyle,” is now available for ordering online. Find it here at the Pink Mince site. Beefcake shot included.

Pink Mince

Blog friend, super type geek/graphic designer Dan Rhatigan aka Ultrasparky, lives in the UK and edits the zine Pink Mince, now heading for its first anniversary this summer.

Tagline: “For the confirmed bachelor of exquisite taste.”  One reviewer summed it up: “Depending on your perspective it’s a smart homage to old physique mags, or a journal of contemporary type and vintage lettering with pictures of dudes.”

The latest issue, “Your Dad Was Hot:” a tribute to the men of yesteryear, in all their virile glory. See heroic astronauts, vigorous athletes, well-polished scholars, and even read some poems by Mark Walton and Gil Scott-Heron. Subscriptions and t-shirts are both available.

BARtab Launch Party

The Bay Area Reporter is launching a new San Francisco nightlife magazine this week. Tomorrow night is the launch party for BARtab, starting with cocktails at Blackbird, 2124 Market St. at Church, from 6 – 8 pm.  Then the party moves on to the Stud, where the Manly Fireplug and I will join the festivities, with Bob Mould (you may know him from his solo music, from Husker Du, or from the Blowoff parties) spinning. DJs 50 Pound Note and Medic will also spin.

Thursday, May 6th
The Stud: 399 9th St. at Harrison
10 pm – 2 a.m. (Free cake at 10 pm. Mmmm…cake)
$5 with all proceeds going to the DJ’s