Jennie and I wrote each other newer, fiercer biographies:

Jennie’s most recent book, “I Exist? : The Cultural Implications of the Postmodern Marriage of Jesus and Karate” has remained on the Time’s bestseller list for the past 32 weeks. When not engineering fresh-water irrigations systems for struggling Third World economies, she fronts her
enormously popular rock group, ‘Shut Up, Queens” in sold-out stadiums around the world. Much better looking than Dr. Phil or Ben Affleck. For booking, please contact Lizzie Grubman.

Michael’s most recent book, “Christmas” knocked deepak chopra out of his constant top spot on the NYT book review, and continues to shock and haunt us with his incisive and brilliant dissection of the modern world. this coolly mesmerizing novel is a raw, powerful portrait of a lost generation who have experienced sex, drugs, and disaffection AND CAME BACK FOR MORE, in a world shaped by casual nihilism, passivity, and too MUCH feeling and hope. Michael is a captain of industry, hilarious and woofy. He’s cuter than Faith Hill. He wins.

Also, neither Jennie nor Michael get up for less than $25 a day.

Trust.