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A Blip from a Deep-Space Bunker

I’ve been masticated by life.

Chewed up by the gods of marriage and money and spit out from the stupid, beautiful city that I called home for 18 years.

I’ve crash-landed a few worlds away, in a town called, ironically, Oakland. A stone’s  throw from Interstate 5, in an Oregon valley of ranches and moss-covered oaks. Population 927.

As I type there are frogs singing and a sheep crying from across the road.

On the table in the center of the mother-in-law’s apartment I currently call home there is a stack of papers; a new bank account, old bills from my previous life, and a Petition for Divorce sent to me by my husband’s lawyer.

I came here with nothing more than a few boxes of books and a chihuahua named Agnes. I live on the generosity of a cousin I’ve only just begun to know.

I lost touch from you, stuck in ice, spinning slowly out here in space, in a bunker that protected me from people and suicidal ideations. After two years of weekly appointments with my Ground Control I realized the bunker was to protect others from my rage.

I’m lost and broken and broken-hearted and the chihuahua has wandered away from me, drawn inexorably to the neighbor’s chicken coop. In a minute I’ll carry her back to this bunker and settle in for the night. Hello, good-night.

11 Replies to “A Blip from a Deep-Space Bunker”

  1. Hi Michael,
    I can’t believe I am writing this via Facebook. Not my thing at all. I am just reading this wondering what’s going on. I am not so sure what I can do for you but willing to try. I can listen 4 sure. I am on a 3 month medical leave for a recent double knee replacement. I have time. Email me please. I mean it. I live in Oakland the city.


  2. I was fractured and broken after my partner of twenty years ended our relationship. We had a good run but we’re better parted. It has taken two years for me to feel better. I’m sure you’ve been through very difficult times. My thoughts are with you. Welcome back.

    1. I was fractured and broken after my partner of twenty years and I ended our relationship, too. It took me more like *six* years to begin to discover who I was after that.

      Keep breathing. Keep opening your eyes.

  3. From a million years ago during the blogging days, I’ve never lost the interest, respect, or love for you. Keep going. You owe me that. xo

  4. Mike – Just wanted to say I (and I’m sure many more who won’t write) am glad to hear from you again. I’ve often wondered what happened to you over the past year of radio silence – I still check the blog at least monthly. We’ve never met and I doubt we ever will, but I’ve been reading your postings for years. For what it’s worth coming from a disembodied voice on the internet, I’m still pulling for you and hoping something turns around for you. Welcome back.

  5. Hi Mike,
    Chad’s thoughts closely reflect my own. Please gain strength from the many that care about you. You are missed. Major hugs.

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